Non-needy Networking System

As a new account on X, I've encountered a common frustration: when I DM someone, and they immediately try to sell me their coaching program, especially if they are at a similar level as I am. 

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. 

For instance, a couple of days ago, I DMed a creator for networking purposes after her content appeared on my timeline. I loved her bio and content, which prompted me to reach out. 

Here’s the context (paraphrased): 

**Me:** "What's up, [her name]? I saw your comment under Audrey Lo's post, and it intrigued me. So, I checked out your X landing page and loved your pinned post—great writing style! I'm curious, what are you building at the moment?" 

**Her:** "Hey, Dennis! I help creators build and scale their businesses here." 

A simple "thank you" would have sufficed. But she kept going—why stop when you have a couple hundred more followers than the person DMing you, right?

"And I appreciate you for following me! Just curious—would you like my 'Build A 4-Fig/mo Business In 30 Days' guide? It's completely free! I figured I’d give it away since I just launched it this month. Hit reply, and I’ll send it over." 

Of course, I followed her; I love her content and admire the fact that she is just starting in this creator space—just like me.

Nevertheless, I picked up the guide half-heartedly.

By the way, I never read it or even clicked the link. 

**Her:** "How's your business going for you?" 

(For context, please forgive her English; I suspect it’s not her native language.) 

**Me:** "At the moment, I'm acquiring a hard skill. I’m getting better at the craft of writing copy while I build an audience here on X. I hope to launch my offer in the second quarter. How about you? How is your business going?" 

**Her:** "Oh wow, that's awesome, Dennis! What skill are you learning?" 

Ouch, that felt dismissive.

She hadn’t even read my previous text. In my patience, I tagged my former response.

"Alright, you mean you’re learning how to write copy. So you’re aiming to be a copywriter?" 

"Offcourse bitch!" (Didn't say that in actuality.) But you get the point. -- The convo was getting redundant.

**Her:** "Perfect! What's your goal with your copywriting business here on X for the next 2-3 months?" 

**Me:** "Monetize. But at the moment, I’m just in the skill acquisition process. Curious how that turns out." 

**Her:** "Makes sense, but we can close clients while learning our skills. I monetized my account in 21 days while still learning my skill. To be honest, we're never perfect in our skills; we’re always improving. And what's better than learning a skill while being in the market itself?" 

She was right, but I had already decided that she was the last person I wanted to buy from. 

**Me:** "How do you monetize without a valuable skill?" 

**Her:** "This isn't without skill. Either you have the skill or you’re in the process of learning it. Are you a complete beginner without any idea about your skill?" 

Now she was getting pissed. 

**Me:** "Again, I am acquiring the hard skill. Appreciate your time, [name]." 

That was a pretty clear closure. She won’t bother me again. Voila! 

However, that’s not the main point of this message. 

In fact, I rarely receive these sales DM replies. 

I’d say about 8 out of 10 DMs I get are good enough to get the job done. 

This brings me to the real question... 

**How do you send a DM so compelling they can’t ignore you?** 

Grab your pen and paper. Got it?

Right... 

Sending a DM is partly a skill and partly about good judgment—being human, if you will. Nobody wants to chat with AI, at least not yet. 

**How is it a skill?** 

You need to genuinely approach the person with little to no expectations and embrace a sense of serendipity. It helps if you provide value in the DM. For example, offer to build a banner for them, create a landing page, send an article you loved that relates to their niche, or even recommend The Elements of Style—just kidding! 

It’s a give-first, take-later approach. 

Serendipity in this context means finding commonality between what they’re doing and what you do. Their bio or pinned post should tell the story. 

"Oh, they're looking to quit their 9-5 by the end of 2025. Cool! Me too..." Then go ahead and DM that person, mentioning the commonality. 

Everyone wants to be part of a tribe, right? 

You also want to be authentic from the ground up. Let your energy guide you. Trust your instincts. If it tells you not to send a message, don’t. It’s probably not a good idea, or it may not be the right choice. Remember an abundance mindset: there are plenty of other accounts to connect with. 

So next time you send a DM, remember this: 

- Be human. Say hi.
- Mention something you like about them.
- Better if you offer something of value. 

And most importantly don't forget to follow them FIRST.

It's universal, the more you need something, the less likely you'll get it. And vice versa holds the same truth.


P.S 

Obviously, other factors affect this networking strategy: 

You not realising that you are a small creator and Alex Hormozi won't reply to you despite how well-polished your dm seems. 

Also, dm people who are long-term players.

"How do I know this, you may ask?" Dive into their content head first. Trust me you'll always tell. 

That's all from me today. 

Hope my chat with the growth guru queen helped

Talk soon,

Dennis.